DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS - It is alleged, or rather, has become increasingly likely that on the 18th of December 2020, a Christmas party was held at Number 10 Downing Street, during a tier 3 Covid 19 lockdown.

This revelation, supported as it seems by a staff training video, featuring the delightfully honest, Allegra Stratton, has really set the cat amongst the pigeons, with everyone diving for cover. Oh come on, everybody did it. The idea was to control the peasants and ease our mucked up NHS, where we've squandered taxpayer's money on dozens of schemes that have turned out to be more bullshit than Bojo had expected of his cronies. Like the Drax biofuel generating station, based on tree planting as a carbon offset. Who thought up that one? Doesn't anyone know that trees take a lot longer to grow, than this power station consumes them. Then there is Hinkley Point and Sizewell C. Doesn't anybody in the Cabinet know nuclear power is more expensive than renewables, and what about radioactive waste management, that is impossible to say is safe - for hundreds of thousands of years. It never was, and never will be. All the corporations will cease to exist. Leaving the taxpayer footing the bill. So, how come Sizewell and Hinkley Point were even considered, and what about that subsidy, making electricity more expensive for the consumer?

With so much corruption in the Conservative Party, and yes, a Part Time Parliament, it must be said, though they'd rather you didn't, what difference will one little end of year get-together make? It's not the end of the world. Well it was for those victims of the Whuhan virus - oh yes and thanks for that Xi. Those people who died while we lived it up, would have gone anyway. Now how about that consultancy fee and a cushy little job when I retire from politics, using all my old school chums to pave the way for juicy contracts. So, it's only right that I should get a backhander and hush money. As long as it looks legal. It's like pirating films and music, everybody does it. You should see my collection.

Many people have asked how many children does Bojo have? It appears he may have sired up to seven that are known about. A bit of a Henry the Eighth.

But is that responsible behaviour and a good role model, for a person holding the ultimate office in the United Kingdom. What about population growth and sustainability. What about climate change?

We wonder if a person with loose morals, such that his dick guides him and his thinking, if we should let a person obsessed with his penis rule the nation?

We've all heard of baby-brain in women's thinking, what name should be applied to the frisky Prime Minister - and should his zipper carry a government health warning? Beware of the Prime Minister's Trousers.

For sure, we have a sleazy scandal based TV series in the making. A shag too far perhaps! Boris and his Johnson. Pecker Paradise. Bojo's Bollocks. Seductive Sexataries. All said and done this is one for a sexual version of Agatha Christie. It gives a whole new meaning to 'Sex In The City.' 'Downing Street' could come to mean Brewer's Droop after one of the illegal parties at Number 10.

Well, it seems we have found one thing that Boris is good at; procreating promiscuously. But even then, he has shat in the bed more times than most in his private life. Making him perhaps a bit on an Asshole, in the view of many voters. We wonder what his child maintenance payments might be, and who will be make a Lord next to cover these costs. Though the Department of Social Security are doubtless making Child Benefit payments to cover at least some of the expenses (claims).

THIRD MARRIAGE SMACKS OF HENRY THE EIGHTH

Boris and Carrie Johnson were married in Westminster Cathedral earlier this year. They announced the birth of a daughter on Thursday 9th December 2021, their second child since his premiership. They also have a son, Wilfred, who was born in April 2020.

This is Mr Johnson's third marriage, with the Prime Minister having previously been married to Marina Wheeler and Allegra Mostyn-Owen.

Despite being cagey about the number of children he had fathered, Mr Johnson revealed to NBC anchor Savannah Guthrie that he had six children in September - with the latest addition bringing the number to seven.

He has four grown-up children with his previous wife Ms Wheeler.

Their names are Lara Lettice Johnson, Cassia Peaches Johnson, Theodore Apollo Johnson, and Milo Arthur Johnson.

He did not have any children with his first wife Ms Mostyn-Owen.

However, he did father another child, a daughter named Stephanie, in 2009 during an affair with art adviser Helen Macintyre.

The birth of Mr and Mrs Johnson's new baby comes on the same day as the Electoral Commission ruled that the Conservative Party broke electoral laws in the controversial refurbishment of their Number 11 flat.

BOJO'S BED WETTING

When Boris Johnson advised Queen Elizabeth that proroguing parliament was legal, it was a lie.

Somehow, despite many scandals of a sexual nature, Boris has managed to cling onto Clowning Street, the debt centre of town. In the media, it is said, presumably allegedly, that he has fathered many children outside of wedlock, earning him the name Shagatha Christie.

Normally, that would call into question his morals. But because he was elected to deal with Brexshit, everybody turned a blind eye. Even the Queen, though she was lied to over proroguing parliament.

But he could be forgiven if he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, almost everything he touches turns to crap. He is the exact opposite of Midas and Austin Power's Goldmember. He is Shitfinger. Just look at the Covid 19 compulsory jabs fiasco, with protests in the streets of London, reminiscent of Margaret Thatcher's Poll Tax. "The Lady is not for changing." No Maam. More political senility, followed by a tearful resignation. 

We hope Bojo, learns from this and keeps the condoms handy. He may also want to rethink his nuclear proliferation and more nuclear weapons, the could invoke a Radiation Tax. Is it too later to undo the deal with Australia and the USA. Perhaps that should be referred to the International Criminal Court? The world has more than enough nukes to wipe Russia and if need be China, from the face of the planet. Why not just get it over, and see who comes out on top. Teach the Cossack a lesson. We think China is more sensible, but what do we know. They may have plans to (try) and take out Russian, once they've taken over the West's economy.

BRITAIN GOT A BUM DEAL - In electing a clown a Prime Minister, UK voters made one of the biggest mistakes in British history. Brexit was and is a disaster, costing pensioners an absolute fortune, as real world inflation halved the value of their savings, with timber, copper and other commodities doubling in price. Then there is the energy crises and nuclear power, with food prices rising. We feel sure that Dr Hannibal Lecter would like to have his old friend for dinner. It might be that some Conservative Party members might also want to join in the feast.

THE CIRCUS -MARCH 2020

Conservative politics is based on delaying economic shortcomings by robbing Peter to pay Paul. Another example of which is over-paying for roads and only 5% of your hard earned taxes going to road building and repairs. That is why we have so many potholes: hence, pothole politics. The evidence for which on on the streets and highways in your area. In Sussex the busy A271, makes commuting to Hastings or Hailsham dangerous, where the tarmac is narrow and flooding is likely to increase. Why is it so bad? Because under Cameron, May and now BoJo, they are turning our villages into housing estates, without the proper highways infrastructure. See Suicide Junction, as a prime example of planning madness.

DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS - We pay our taxes but get no value for all our hard earned pounds. Don't forget that our income is taxed along with just about everything we buy. Even buying a house is subject to stamp duty and dying also costs money with death duties. Shit! How are they getting away with bleeding the electorate dry like this? Fuel is taxed, drinks are taxed (that's okay by us), and using roads is taxed. Then there is car tax of course. We heard they are thinking of taxing sex, based on the length of your Johnson.

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